Becoming One in Marriage

I was recently glancing through the pictures from my wedding day and began reminiscing about what a beautiful fall day it was, how nervous (an excited nervous, not a cold feet nervous) I felt, and the look on my husband’s handsome face as I gracefully made my way down the aisle. We had finally come together as one with God. But before my wedding day, “coming together as one” was a tough phrase for me to grasp.

When I went off to college, I was expected to be a responsible adult, on my own. While it was scary at first, I eventually got used to the idea and obviously loved having the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted to. I thought I would meet my future husband at Texas State, get engaged, be married and have a couple of kids all before my 30’s. Little did I know, God had a different plan for me. By the time I turned 27, I was still single and had mastered the art of being an independent woman. I would frequently pray for God to just drop the man I was supposed to marry on my doorstep (preferably holding a sweet, cuddly french bulldog puppy).

I got my puppy wish in 2011 on my 28th birthday. Sadly, he did not come with a husband. Still, I trusted that God’s timing would be perfect. And it was. Almost six months later, I met my husband Daniel. Two years later we were engaged and decided to find a church in order to strengthen our relationship with Christ. When we starting attending Life Point, we immediately wanted to make it our church home and were excited to learn they had Life Groups we could join. Pastor Danny was providing us pre-marital counseling when he encouraged us to join the Marriage Life Group. I was hesitant at first because we weren’t married yet, but we decided to give it a shot. During our meetings, we watched a series of videos called “Marriage Built to Last” by Chip Ingram. One area I struggled with when Daniel and I talked about marriage was how to leave my independent ways behind and focus on our life TOGETHER. I was still so used to that independent mentality of “I do what I want, when I want.” During one of our Life Group meetings, I learned that I needed to live my life for my husband and not just for me. Chip’s message was:

“God created marriage and the goal is oneness. The oneness occurs as we walk with God and learn to have intimacy with one another. The process to develop that is three part. One, we obey God and how we do it is we leave, we cleave, and then we become one flesh.”

I was completely engaged in the message when he finalized with this, “God has a purpose and it’s more than about just you.”

Through the rest of that Life Group semester, God prepared me for the day I would become one with my husband. While it can still be a struggle for me to completely shut off my independent ways in our marriage, I always think back to what I learned from our Life Group. No matter what, God’s design is perfect. His timing, his plan, his purpose. And I know if I focus on putting him at the center of my life/marriage and not worry about the plans I try to make happen, he will always extend his grace in some way, shape or form. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Published by: Lexi Ellis

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